Feminist author and professor Robin Lakoff examines the types of language children learn and how those languages change as they grow older. Lakoff focuses especially on females' use of "woman talk" in society and the problems women must overcome to be seen as effective, strong thinkers and speakers.
The author uses classroom observations and examples to convey the idea that children are taught to speak politely and to accept people's ideas. Ridicule from older boys causes boys around the age of five to stop using "woman talk" and adopt a masculine language. Girls retain their old language and are discouraged from using masculine language.
As adults a problem occurs when women are faced with business and personal relationships. They use neutral language for business but mostly feminine language when talking to friends. If they refuse to talk like ladies, they are ridiculed for being masculine, but they are also ridiculed when they use feminine language because they are seen as unable to speak forcefully. Basically, women are "damned if they do and damned if they don't." Men, from childhood on, have dominated society and speech by using strong expressions while women have had to adapt their language to their environment be it business or personal. For example, a woman may say an idea is terrific in a board meeting, but when she is talking to her female friend she may say an idea is divine. The adjectives used vary with a woman's environment. Because women have to make adjustments in their speech, Lakoff observes, most women never really master either language or feel comfortable using both. Therefore, the overall effect of "woman's talk" is to submerge a woman's personal identity and her ideas and to deny her access to positions of power.
The author notes that more women than men were observed to use
more tag questions (questions that don't commit the speaker to
an idea either way) because they want reassurance that their statement
is correct. Lakoff concludes that women's speech is devised by
society and taught to girls through socialization to prevent the
expression of ideas that may increase women's status.
Although Robin Lakoff never accuses men for the subordination of women, she insinuates that they, along with society itself, prevent women from forcefully stating their ideas. The underlying accusatory tone is a jolt back to the reality of a society of male domination. The issues of "woman talk," such as the use of different expressions by females, bring an awareness of everyday language and gender problems to the reader. The author recognizes the fact that a girl is ridiculed if she talks like a lady and ridiculed if she doesn't. What then is a woman to do? Lakoff offers two choices--to be less than a woman or to be less than a person. Neither choice is very desirable. Lakoff also mentions that a woman needs to learn both neutral language and "woman talk" by discussing the way a woman's brain processes what she is saying while she says it.
With female friends conversation is easy, but conversation with men in any setting seems uncomfortable. A woman is constantly wondering if her statements sound appropriate or if the men will ridicule her for not being intellectually able to speak. This scenario shows exactly how male-dominated our society is. Men's perception of women is so important that their criticisms occupy a woman's thoughts even while she is speaking.
The author's use of the tag question is a clear way of demonstrating women's hesitance to express themselves with force. Women avoid committing to an idea so they can prevent conflict and seek reassurance from both men and women. For example, a woman would be more likely to say " That's the right button, isn't it?" than a man. A man would be more likely to say "That is the right button." with no tag question at the end of the statement. The woman's uncertainty is a result of a language that was imposed on her in the earliest years of her life. Little girls were taught to be polite and to listen to other people's opinions instead of forcing their own on others. Little boys, on the other hand, were encouraged to express their opinions. The socialization process for boys and girls is completely different.
Lakoff clearly states the issues that have caused women to remain inferior to men but offers no solutions to any of the issues. I think the purpose of this article was to raise questions about the type of languages in society and to elicit strong emotions within the readers to create a new kind of awareness for the language that is used every day. Although no answers are specifically stated, the evidence Lakoff gives can be combined to imply that perhaps the socialization process that children go through needs to be changed. Children must learn early on that gender or a gender's use of language should not create inferiority.
While Lakoff's article was influential, it was also constrained by some of the sexist assumptions made. She accepts that men's language is superior, and this in turn gives them more power. Lakoff takes male language as the norm and measures women against it. Given these practices, Dale Spender in Man Made Language says that it is unlikely that Lakoff could arrive at positive findings for women. In Women Writing the Academy, Gesa Kirsch agrees with Spender by saying that Lakoff implies that women's speech is peculiar and perhaps inferior to that of men.
© Tammy Engel, Winona (MN) State University, 30 January 1997
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