Tannen divides the discussion on the differences between linguistic styles of men and women into four general categories: defining linguistics, describing differences in reactions to social dynamics of language, illustrating conversational rituals, and negotiating authority.
Tannen defines linguistics as "a set of culturally learned signals by which we not only communicate what we mean but also interpret others' meanings and evaluate one another as people." She believes differences in linguistic styles is due to differences in socialization. In her research, she found that girls tend to focus on building rapport in relationships; whereas boys focus on status in relationships, and these behaviors extend into the adult workplace.
In her discussion on social dynamics of language, Tannen includes the issues of getting credit, boasting, and asking questions. Men use the pronoun "I" and take credit; women use the pronoun "we" and distribute credit to others. In Laurie Heatherington's confidence study of college student's predictions of their own first year grades, she found women estimated closer to their earned grades when making personal predictions in private. Question-asking, males perceive is showing ignorance, and they are less likely than women to use questions in conversations.
Tannen categorizes apologies, feedback, compliments, and ritual opposition as conversational rituals. Women use apologies as an expression of concern, not necessarily an admission of guilt or fault. Women use compliments to fulfill "requirements," while men avoid giving compliments to avoid criticism. Tannen believes that males view ritual opposition as a part of negotiation, but women like to avoid conflicting beliefs.
Lastly, Tannen discusses negotiating authority. Karen Tracy and Eric Eisenberg found women were more likely to save-face when criticizing subordinates, not superiors. Tannen says, women use indirectness when giving orders, and men use indirectness when admitting weakness.
Tannen concludes by asserting there is no "best way"
to communicate. She makes suggestions for managers to prepare
for a culturally diverse atmosphere: understand linguistic style
differences and allow all members to express themselves and be
heard.
In her piece about the differences in linguistic styles of men and women in the workplace, Tannen's underlying purpose is to clarify misunderstandings in communication. She succeeds by addressing pertinent issues, using excellent support, and acknowledging a broad audience.
For a business audience composed of females and males, superiors and subordinates, she addresses issues that they have observed and includes their examples in her piece. Those personal experiences illustrate effective and ineffective ways of dealing with differences in communication styles. A meeting on performance assessment at a large corporation elicited responses from several senior officers, all male. They unanimously concluded that women did not have the self-confidence deemed necessary for a promotion. Tannen participated in a separate gathering. After the meeting, members concluded it was a success; yet the following day, Tannen noticed that what she perceived to be Phil's ideas were truly Cheryl's. Another situation involved a medical student who received a negative evaluation and approached her supervisor about it. He told her it was because she asked more questions than her peers.
Tannen supports each aspect of her piece not only with personal testimony, but with outside research and scenarios as well. The outside research cited by Tannen is stated in general terms to elicit general support for her assertions. In one brief sentence she mentions the study by Janet Holmes who found that women give more compliments than men do. From this research, Tannen adds her own thoughts about compliments. When discussing getting credit, she illustrates a scenario about Veronica, a senior researcher in a high-tech company. Her boss noticed that in group situations, many of the announced ideas were Veronica's, but other members verbalized them. Her boss urged her to take credit for her ideas, but Veronica asserted that made it seem like a "grabbing game."
Tannen's typical style of representing males and females equally--avoiding finger-pointing--is highly effective for this audience. However, Tannen singles out managers when making suggestions to improve communication. The audience can associate themselves with Tannen's numerous examples, but they do not find suggestions that directly apply to them. In her conclusion she states, "The critical skill for managers is to become aware of the workings and power of linguistic style, to make sure that people with something valuable to contribute get heard." Eliminating the word "managers" would make this statement more general and applicable by a wider variety of people.
Although Tannen briefly loses sight of her general audience,
the overwhelming support and development of current issues in
the workplace create an excellent source for understanding the
communication differences of men and women. Tannen's most valuable
testimony is stated in her conclusion. "As the workplace
becomes more culturally diverse and business becomes more global,
managers will need to become even better at reading interactions
and more flexible in adjusting their own styles to the people
with whom they interact."
© Heather Docken, Winona (MN) State University, 30 January 1997. This document may be freely distributed for educational use as long as this notice of its authorship accompanies its distribution.
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